Is cleanliness close to godliness?

Sometimes, it’s really hard to get kids to clean up their shit. Doubly so if they are hurtling towards pre-teen/teenager-dom. My kids, and wife, are no exception to this.

Initially, I had the idea of making a series of videos just for the kids to show them exactly what is expected of them when I tell them to clean something. I pictured it in the vein of the last half of Clockwork Orange, where Malcolm McDowell is getting rehabilitated. Only my interpretation would be without Malcolm and, you know, the boobs.

Then I had a thought: This would look pretty sweet on the blogMaybe there’s some ass of a father who doesn’t have a good concept of cleanliness… 

I would like to state for the record that the bathroom in question is by no means spotless by the end of the video. However it is certainly cleaner than it was at the start and is probably cleaner than your bathroom. 

Thanks for watching!


How To Clean The Damn Bedroom.

In which, I continue my video series for establishing a baseline of cleanliness in my home. 

Today’s video features the bedroom my wife and I share. For the record, should you feel the need to question the standard of living in which my family and I enjoy (e.g. the cleanliness of our home) I cordially invite you to go fuck yourself. Judging other people isn’t nice. It’s ok to have a messy home as long as it doesn’t look like you’re auditioning for Hoarders.

A quick note about the cockroach. His name was Joe, Joe the Cockroach. He was a single father of a multitude. And I murdered him by spraying my home with indoor bug killer. At the time this video was made, he had been dead for sometime. He was dead well before my wife put the glass over him. She probably didn’t know that. I wasn’t about to tell her either. Yes, I am a 12 year-old.

Sometimes in relationships stalemates are reached. When we first moved into our current home I noticed and informed my wife about the bug problem. My initial course of action was going to be to inform the rental company so that they can get off their asses and fix the problem. My wife insisted that we handle the problem ourselves because she took issue with the possibility of getting certain insecticides over our belongings.

It was a battle I wasn’t willing to fight so we handled the problem ourselves. To date, it has been a fruitless battle.  When you have your nightcap tonight, be sure to pour out a little bit for JC.